Yep! The title about sums up my day. I was awakened at 1:20am pacific time in Reno, NV, by Milly yelling for “Momma!” I was so delirious from exhaustion, and the always-changing environment while on the road, that I could hardly find my way to her. When you’re out of your element, it’s sometimes hard to recollect in the middle of the night where you put your daughter down to sleep. Side note: the cribs that hotels provide are rather scary. It’s a metal crib that was rather small and cage-like. So, I finally find Milly tucked away in a corner of the suite. (I stole Sara’s suite so as to have more space for the kid… they always give her the best room!) Milly is actually a great sleeper, but she had a nasty cold and needed more attention, thus the mid-night waking. I couldn’t do the normal M.O. of putting “mommy” ( she calls her pacifier “mommy”- don’t ask) back in her mouth and then laying her back down. Nope, this time she refused to get back into her metal cage (argh!). I tried rocking, nursing, and caressing, etc., etc.
The next thing I remember hearing was Matt’s alarm going off, him hitting snooze, then mine, and me hitting snooze. It was 4:55am. I hear Matt shower, and then I realize that, in order to have time for a Starbucks run, I need to get going. It’s amazing how time flies for an early morning flight. Plus, the “ride” we had booked was messed up, and so we had to hail a taxi. This taxi really was stereotypically stinky. Somehow in the scramble we lose a “mommy.” It could have been the gale force winds that suddenly appeared outside our hotel at 5:00am (I literally struggled to open a car door, and it was a sliding door) that ripped the thing from her grasp, but most likely it was the casual way she throws the thing from her mouth when she is done with it, not realizing, in her 19 months of life experience that not all the important things you drop will just somehow magically return to you. Either way, I suddenly realize we don’t have a pacifier to help us through this 8 hour day of traveling back to Nashville. Well, that’s when I lost it. I quickly inform Matt that he is not to say anything to me… or even speak at all. I blamed him. At one point in history, we had 5 “mommies”, and now we had 0. With tears streaming down my face we check in for our American Airlines flight. I was told they aren’t allowed to enter my TSA Precheck number (lies, I tell you) so, alas, I have to take my shoes off and walk barefoot across a nasty cold floor (why do I never remember socks?), picking up God knows what through my feet. I thought, ‘Does Ebola transmit through feet?’ I have learned a few tricks when it comes to getting through security. Although you are allowed to take a sippy cup of water, juice, etc, do not do this. Instead bring an empty sippy cup and fill it up on the other side. This way the TSA doesn’t have to “test” the liquid. Also, if your child can walk, have them walk through the metal detector on their own. This way they do not have to test the parent’s hands. These small things can save 15-20 minutes when it’s all said and done. Update- at this point, Milly still has no “mommy”, which she has asked for at least 10 times.
Fast forward to us being finally boarded on plane. I’m still crying. I reach in my diaper bag for Burt’s bees and pull out the “mommy.” More tears of joy! And then I sob into my lap for awhile. I really think it’s pure exhaustion at this point. (My husband would like me to add to this story the fact that he was all along urging me to check the diaper bag to see if there was another “mommy” inside.)
I know, I know… still not to the punch line. I will swiftly summarize the rest. On the first leg of the trip, Milly did great. She even fell asleep the last 45 minutes of the flight. Our neighbors, God love ‘em, had an 18 month old that wailed that last 45 minutes. I’m talking full on scream as though you’re getting your head chopped off. It was awful! Get the coinciding? I felt for them, I really did. But what do you do? We landed in Dallas. Flight delayed in Dallas. We rode the tram for 20 minutes to the gate they told us to go to. They switched the gates. We rode another 20 minutes back to the gate the was only TWO GATES down from our arrival gate. Finally, we board the plane, the plane takes off, and we eventually arrive in Nashville. (We would like to give a shout out and a HUGE Thank You to the three extremely kind gentlemen who sat directly behind us. They were way more than extremely accommodating with Milly, who turned around and stood up practically the entire flight. They played with her, laughed with her, and entertained her like she was their own! Thank you! You made the flight so much more enjoyable.)
So, here it is, the punchline you’ve all been waiting for… While putting Milly to bed, I go to nurse her and feel a hard object just laying at the bottom of my sports bra (I wore my jammies all day, don’t judge!). At first, I freaked out. Let me also mention that upon arrival to our house, after 9 days gone, I found larva living in a banana that I forgot to toss, and then a spider tried to make its way into my house (he no longer lives, so take that as a warning, you other spiders). I assumed that the object in my bra was something just as terrifying. After my heart rate calmed, I discovered the harmless, hapless goldfish, and promptly tossed it into my mouth. I put my kid down to bed and plopped myself onto the couch for some good ole TV time. We made it home safe and… well, on the way to being sound again.
Have you ever had a day like this? Please share with me!
I have a good friend that is penning a description of her “fun” day as a guest post…stay tuned!
